The # 200

I had no intention of blogging about anything but marathon preps this morning when I woke up however a conversation I heard of the way out of work this afternoon really struck me. I forgot about it when I got home, I took my 4 year old out for a jog (1.6 miles- she did great), but as I sit down to eat dinner it hit me again, the number 200.

In 9th grade health class I remember overhearing a conversation between two male classmates talking about girls. "Man, I could never date a girl over 200 lbs" one of them said. I breathed a sigh of relief; I was 190 lbs at the time. Well today, just about 13 years or so later I was walking out the gate at work and heard two guys behind me talking about scales. They were specifically talking about scales that can now be programmed to talk to you when you weigh in. Joking around they were making comments like "Get off me fatass" "Lay off the pizza and beer" and then it came...."You're over 200 lbs: If you're a woman go on a diet." BAM. That stinkin number...200! What is it that number and women? I mean I understand, even at 6 foot tall with a large frame the typical height/weight chart for a female reads no more than 179 lbs, but it's not like most men have studied it. I have weighed 200 lbs, I have weight OVER 200 lbs, and now I weigh quite a bit less than 200 lbs but still it bothers me. I found myself passing windows looking at my reflection on the way to catch my shuttle and wondering if others looked at me at thought I was 200 lbs. It amazes me how no matter how much weight I lose I still am afraid that I look overweight. What should it matter how I look? I've already come so far!

Technically I am still overweight- healthy, fit, running a freakin marathon in a matter of days, but 127-141 lbs I am not. I got close last summer but bad food choices packed another 10 pounds on over winter so I need to reel the diet in CONSISTENTLY, but I am still 30+ lbs under 200. Sometimes I need to remind myself what 30 lbs looks like. 30 lbs is the weight of my toddler, a microwave, 240 eggs, or 4 gallons of water.  Since the beginning of this journey I have lost 80+ lbs; the weight of  a baby giraffe or an anorexic celebrity ;)

I realize there probably isn't a clear outline in this blog. My thoughts are scattered and I'm just trying to jot this all down before the girls destroy their bedrooms upstairs. I guess I guess found it amusing and yet sad that after all these years a couple men talking about 200 lbs women can still make my ears perk up and make me check my reflection in a coffee shop window. I have no need to worry, that's a number I won't be coming near EVER again!

What a cutie!